#there's MORE to him. that he's forgiven or idk is forgivable whatever it just feels weird to ME for him to have a 1 min convo w mythal

[v-arbellanaris]

although i get why they did it (except i dont) i kind of wish that the final confrontation with solas doesnt offer him the opportunity to have mythal come in and like idk address what happened. like i get it but also idk... if theyre framing it as an abusive relationship with a power imbalance (as opposed to like. a toxic relationship between two equals) the reality is that often you don't have your abuser like... ever taking a smidgeon of responsibility or absolving you of any responsibility for a situation. you dont get that apology, you dont get that regret, and a lot of the work that goes into healing from that kind of relationship, whether its a parent or partner or whoever, is coming to terms with the fact that youre likely probably never going to get even an acknowledgement that something fucked up happened. and you didnt deserve it and it wasnt your fault. you still have to find a way forward without that. idk it feels.. not to say unnecessary, though i do feel it is unnecessary to have mythal show up and like 'absolve' solas/acknowledge it wasnt all his fault, but for the kind of relationship theyre trying to portray - having solas basically cowering and flinching away from her, sobbing, holding out a knife for her to ostensibly kill him with - it just doesnt really fit to me nor does it feel... idk? satisfying? realistic? idk what the word is. but to have solas' heel face turn happen after a conversation with mythal where she basically goes 'dw it was also kinda my fault lol' when the story paints her as his abuser just feels like it falls short in some way

[desireangel]

Dark Cherry [4] | Aemond Targaryen

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: MDNI 18+!! canon divergence!!! I fucked the timeline and nigly bits bc this was an impulse fic ok soooo it was mostly unplanned, almost smut, angst, let the grovelling happen babyyy, unedited, mention of alys x aemond but not in a good way :((, infidelity, talk of sex, guilt, mentions of Aegon x reader, hmmm I ramble, little vulnerable Aemond, bad language, let me know if I've missed anything!

Author's note: y'all I was never done with that man like there's no easy out for him :llll. Anyways I wrote most of this instead of studying which I needed to do. Perhaps I'll have my hand at another idea I'm cooking before part 5 but I'm alsoooo unsure about how keen we are to keep this one going - like is it getting too much??? either way, I enjoy writing this. and idk how to shut up, clearly, because I love that internal mind talk shit. Drop your thoughts in my inbox or PM me because I love to yap!!! xoxo, kisses!!! <3

Masterlist

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He was a fool. A spoiled, arrogant and entitled fool. You often thought about whether Aemond actually recognised the effect of his actions on anyone else. It was always ‘I did it for us’ or ‘I did it because I had to do it’.

So after your confrontation the day before, it had surprised you that Aemond had truly believed he was forgiven. Maybe it shouldn’t have. You had, after all, sat beside him and laughed with him. Shared a moment as if things were better. But it was nothing more than a lighthearted acknowledgement that whatever game was being played was entirely ridiculous yet you could feel how something had changed. There was a newfound intensity between the two of you and Aemond had clearly understood that he had made a mistake

But that wouldn't be enough for forgiveness. Things would never really be the same. You will never forget. The nameless woman had made a home in your unconscious mind and everything would remind you of the woman your husband had chosen to take to bed over you. She was beautiful, she was experienced and free of burden. Based on that alone a part of you could see why she could have been a better choice–a part of you that ached and pained ceaselessly. 

And you weren’t sure you could carry on as if Aemond hadn’t thrown your entire world into the pits of ruin. Because that is exactly what he may as well have done. All you had was your marriage to him–a fact that was as painful as it was true. If it all fell apart because of him only you would suffer from it. 

Your name, your family’s name. A Lady born to a house of remarkably lowly nobility with little more than your marriage to the prince. A charity case marriage to tell the realm’s people that the Crown was not so prejudiced as to be above uniting with the likes of your house. That the Lannisters and Baratheons were important but they were not everything. A fabrication only made necessary to cover up the fact that it was a lie–the Targaryens (and even the Hightowers as you had come to realise) really did believe they were of better blood. 

A failure to fulfil your duty to the Targaryen crown as Prince Aemond’s wife would destroy your family name. And you would have no prospect of happiness after it. What else did you have aside from this?

Aemond would never understand that. Because not only was he a man but he was a prince. A privilege, a safety and a security he had inherited through birth. 

Aside from the pressures of society, he had hurt you. Badly. 

Despite your own confliction about it, you did have love for Aemond–how could you not? Love came from many things and while yours may have come from your dependance on his word, on the duty he performed to be your protector as he was to the Crown and its subjects, on his polite affections as limited as they were, it still found its way into your heart. Perhaps it was foolish to allow it entry into your existence when you had already known that there was no love to come from Aemond. 

It didn’t change anything. Betrayed your trust, taken you for granted and destroyed the sanctity of a husband’s loyalty as if he were as dishonourable as any other Lord. 

You would never say it out loud but it had broken your heart. And heartache is a consuming, suffocating and painful thing to feel. A constant lump in your throat, something always weighing your chest down, a disastrous, aching discomfort in your belly. Tears had stained your pillow at night and dried by the morning, the fabric of the linen acquiring the same unphased facade that you would wear as you plastered on a mask of ignorance so that you could continue to live through your day. 

All because you had wanted him. Aemond, who was doomed to disappoint and destroy merely because that is all that princes do. 

For him to have mistaken your truce–the end to the back and forth game that had been wreaking havoc in its wake-as forgiveness was infuriating. He had no idea. 

Well, maybe he did. Now that he had seen you with another just as you had seen him. And you recognised your own experience in the moment he had realised what was happening. 

Aemond’s call to breakfast made you want to laugh. But you had turned him down for afternoon tea just the day before only to be found swallowing his brother’s seed. You winced at the shamefulness of your thought, muttering a quick prayer for the sake of your piety whether it was genuine or not. 

He was seated lazily in the chair he favoured, an array of food spread across the table. There was a book in his hand. The same one he had taken from you the last time you had shared your morning meal together. Aemond had a smirk playing on his lips. 

You cleared your throat, curtsying before sitting down at the other end of the table to him and with as much distance between you as you could muster. “Good morrow, my Prince,”

“Formalities, I see,” He looked at you through his lashes. It was odd seeing him so relaxed, the tension that was always in his shoulders had been lost and there was a playful glint to his eye. You wanted to smack it out. “I believed we were past titles and distance for the sake of propriety, my sweet. As well as rigid greetings.”

All you responded with was a stare. 

Dropping the book to his side, Aemond sighed and leaned forward, pouring tea into a cup. He stood, taking a couple steps forward to hand it to you. “We have fixed-”

“We have fixed nothing.”

“I am trying to turn a new leaf,” he commanded. You took the cup and saucer from his hand, the warm waft of vanilla and rose giving you a slight reprieve from the threat that rolled off his tongue. “If you do not recall, dear wife, I as well have every reason to resent you. The image of you sucking on my useless brother’s cock is not one I can easily bare. Yet I have chosen to let it be. I could have easily decided otherwise.”

“That would make you a hypocrite.” You glanced at him over the rim of your teacup. 

“It does not matter much if I am a hypocrite, does it?” Aemond sat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He wasn’t bothered with the food in front of him, focused solely on you. “I hardly see how that would change anything.”

You squirmed under the intensity of his stare, picking up a cherry from the bowl of fruits and rolling the stem between your fingers. “It matters to me. Certainly, it matters for your reputation among the smallfolk. Nobody cares for a selfish prince, my dear.”

Aemond hummed, smirking at the venom you spat at him. You noticed the coin that he rolled between his fingers, nimble and thoughtless as if it were like breathing. Not so much a nervous habit but a thoughtful one. 

He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t enjoy your confidence. It was refreshing. But there was a dip in his gut at the thought that there was no hope for the two of you. Aemond, ever logical, knew he had no one else to blame but himself with his lack of foresight and failure to see beyond the now and here. 

Because Aemond had not even considered how things would go on should you not forgive him. He had assumed that you would if not merely on the basis that there was little lost from a relationship that hardly existed in the first place. You had love for him and he was so convinced that such a thing would be impossible that he didn’t consider that it would cause you heartache beyond slighted offence and jealousy. 

A violet eye lingered on the cherry that remained between your fingers. Aemond was good at putting on an act. He thought for a moment that he would rather take lashes to his back than have you know that he had no idea how to love someone properly. A part of him was persuaded that he was incapable of being a good lover. The lashes seemed like a blissful gift compared to the self-loathing that simmered in his belly at the probability that he had ruined any chance your marriage had of recovery.  

It crossed his mind that it was his ignorance towards you right from the beginning that had damned your relationship. 

Either way, it did not help that you had turned to his brother for intimacy. Aemond felt his blood scorch whenever that invaded his mind. He wanted to crumble the walls of this fortress when he wondered if Aegon had enjoyed your womanhood. Jealousy did motivate him well, he realised, and Aemond had the murderous urge to feed Aegon to Vhagar. 

Nonetheless, he feigned amusement. “It seems as if you care for one.”

You ate the cherry. It was sweet and rich. All you replied with was an upturn of your chin as you gracefully held a small embroidered towel to your lips.

“So I am not forgiven?” Aemond had to break the silence before it cut him open. “Are we not even?”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you held back a surprised laugh. “You never apologised. Not that it would make any difference.”

“That does not answer my question.”

“Of course you are not forgiven,” you sighed. The tea cup hit the table with a clang. Your disdain for his actions and his ignorance gave you an unfettered confidence around him which you weren’t accustomed to. It made it very difficult to control yourself. “And no, we are not even, my Prince. And since you have brought it to my attention, I am of half a mind to find Aegon and offer him a meal between my thighs. You see, I have often wondered how it would feel and I expect that our King would be happy to indulge my… curiosities.”

Aemond sneered, a silent one that was more visible in his intake of a breath, the curl of his lips and the hardening of his eye. Bullseye. 

It took him less than a couple seconds to be on his knees in front of where you sat, a strong hand tightly gripping each side of your thighs over the thick fabrics of your dress. He had shoved the table aside, unphased as tea spilled and fruits and cheeses toppled to the floor. Something in the look of bewilderment on your face had Aemond ready to both grin at your clueless innocence and frown at your shock.

Aemond didn’t let himself dwell on the fact that you had given up on expecting such pleasures from him. He was your husband; nothing about what he was clearly intending on doing to you should surprise you. Cursing himself to perdition would not be enough for how he has failed you. 

“I feel obliged to remind you that we had agreed,” he grazed his nose across your knees, looking up at you through his eyelashes, jaw clenched tight as he all but growled his words. “That there will be no more of this foolishness. Not from you and not from me.”

It was an onslaught of different things that had rendered you still and silent. The way Aemond looked at you like you were the only satiating force for his eternal hunger, the wordless mixture of desire and anger in how his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs, the desperation in his voice, strained by the fear that you would. Or was it the overwhelming feeling that Aemond was finally taking some accountability and that maybe he recognised not what his actions were but the meaning that they carried?

For a moment Aemond just looked at you, conflicted and fragmented and unguarded. The sight of him like this reminded you of a vulnerable child. But it didn’t last long before the menacing, cautionary glint was back in his eye, his posture becoming rigid as shuffled the fabrics of your skirts. 

A new kind of anxiety overcame you. Not like the insignificant nervousness you had felt that night when you had wandered into his chambers or used his leg to make yourself peak and not like the clueless apprehension with Aegon. It formed a ball in your chest and made it hard to breathe. 

There was no chance he would ever admit it but you could see Aemond’s vulnerability and desperation within the hardened facade he had perfected. He wanted nothing more than to seem strong and powerful at all times, worthy of acclaim and reverence. But here he was, willing to stay on his knees and worship you forever, all under the pretence of rageful infatuation. 

It was too hot. Even with the cool of the shadows cast by the dark net curtains that only let in enough daylight to see clearly and not enough to cause Aemond irritation from sensitivity in his eye, it was so warm you worried you would have to rip the sleeves off of your dress.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Aemond let out a soft, dark groan, running his fingers across the expanse of your legs over your stockings, your skirts already bunched at your hips. Skin burning at his touch, you couldn’t help the way you whined and squeezed your thighs together, squirming under the intensity of his gaze. 

His voice was heavy with the burden of lust and regret. “I will be better. In all the ways that I have failed you and more. Your forgiveness, I realise, is not as easily granted as I presumed but I will show you that I am worthy of it.” 

There was a moment of weakness in your mind before you caught yourself. You didn’t quite believe him. It had clearly been too easy for him to give you empty promises and there was no reason why things would be different now. 

It was odd. Seeing Aemond weak like this. 

What would it mean if you let him continue? It was clearly different this time. You couldn’t put it into words exactly but there was a rawness, a blitz of different emotions that set things ablaze and made you want to both weep and mewl for him. 

You couldn’t spare a thought about why it was different. Aemond was right there, a weaponised Prince on his knees for you, a lowly Lady with nothing more to offer him than yourself. Since when did you hold all this power over him? 

That night in his bedchambers and last night when you had shared a laugh despite everything that had unfolded felt detached in a way. When you had allowed yourself release over his leg it was simply that. A way to ease the tension he had put in your body and a way to leave him wanting.

Aemond’s eye swam with a tenderness you had not seen from him. He continued to look up at you waiting to gauge your response. It was a slight nod of your head which had his hands tearing at the soft fabric of your stockings, his lips instantly meeting the skin of your knees before you had the chance to even gasp. All the while, he kept his eye on you as if his heart would cease to beat if he could not watch the way you reacted to him. 

It became increasingly harder to breathe. There were so many thoughts, so many sensations that you struggled to put it all together. Your flushed with anticipation, your cunt throbbed at the wet plushness of his lips on your hot skin and your hips squirmed at what was to come. 

Your mind, however, flashed with the image of Aemond, exactly as he was now, between another woman’s thighs. A woman who didn’t flinch at the unfamiliar touch, who didn’t jerk away at the foreign feeling of being pleasured. You wondered if he would be so angered at the prospect of another man’s mouth on her womanhood, if her skin felt softer or more rough on his lips and if he looked at her with the same heated need.

It made you feel sick. 

Aemond let himself enjoy the way your thighs tensed, pulling your smallclothes off of you as much as carefully as he could under the restriction of your skirts. There was an urge to rip the entire dress off but he knew it would be a step too far. He couldn’t help the low sounds that left him, sounds he couldn’t recognise. The expanse of your thighs and the sight of your flushed, hot cunt in front of him made his mouth water with a hunger that would have shocked him had he not been so distracted by your scent. 

Without complete vision, Aemond had learned to train his sense of touch, taste, smell and hearing to make up for the disadvantage he was stuck with. They were always slightly heightened compared to those who never needed the compensation of senses but in the cloud of desire and lust, he was sensitive. 

You whined at the way his tongue glided over your skin, biting down hard but not hard enough to be painful on the flesh of your upper thigh so close to where you needed to feel him. But Aemond was always remarkably patient and he merely made way to your other leg, repeating his ministrations and licking you from your knee to where he bit you at your thigh. 

The haze that had possessed you made you lose track of your thoughts so easily. Still, they fought their way to the forefront of your mind at every chance they could and you were reminded of her. 

Aemond’s mind was overwhelmed by you. There was no power in the realm that could make him think of anything else, not with the way you were trembling under his feathered touch and making such beautiful sounds for him, and not when he desired for anyone else apart from you. 

A heavy breath of shame and excitement tumbled out of you at how lewdly he dragged the tip of his nose across your thigh, pressing it into the flesh that sat above your slick, aching cunt and inhaling. You clenched around nothing, your clit twitching at the sound of Aemond’s unabashed groan. 

He grasped at your hips and your legs, his fingers burying into your flesh and tugging as if there would never be enough of you in his hands. It would have driven you into a similarly desperate state had things been different. 

The prince between your thighs was a sight to behold. Aemond’s skin was flushed pink, his eyepatch slightly out of place and his hair tousled from the way your legs clenched and unclenched against his head. He was almost drooling, mumbling about how good you smelled and how perfect and pretty your cunt was for him. His cock had never been so hard, constricted by the stiff leather of his training attires. 

Aemond enjoyed being a tease but there was only so much he could handle himself. While he wanted you to crave for him the way he was craving you so unbearably, Aemond needed to taste you. He needed to make you feel the blinding pleasure he should have been giving you at every chance he had since the night you were married. He needed to show you the ways of unbridled human desire and to show you all the ways your body could come undone and fall apart only to feel completely whole and fulfilled. 

There was no changing the past but Aemond would make up for how completely inattentive he had been. He would show you all the more fervently. When Aemond placed an open mouthed kiss just above your slit, letting a string of his spit glide off of his tongue onto your sensitive pussy, you shuddered.

All at once your mind was once again taken over by unsavoury thoughts. It had your eyes welling with tears, a familiar lump lodging in your throat, threatening to come out in a devastated sob. There was a ringing in your ears and you were back at Aemond’s door, peeking in only to see him giving that woman the same touch he was giving you right now. He had seemed so enthralled by her and the way she must have tasted. It was as if he’d been there before, indulging in her with so much passion it rivalled how eagerly touched you in this moment. 

Did her smell fill his veins with fire as yours was? Did her scent alone make his cock as painfully hard as yours did? Did her cunt drip for him the way yours did? Was the hunger in his eye shining for her too?

It was terrifying to consider. 

Aemond would spend hours here, he had decided. His duties for the day could be damned to the hells for all he cared. There was a rumbling in his chest for what he saw in front of him, inviting him to indulge and filling his mind with senseless ardour. Aemond let himself enjoy just the scent of you, his eye fluttering shut and his nose gently resting above your folds as he breathed you in, caressing your thighs softly with his hands. As if he were starved for years, Aemond salivated and with no patience left within him, he brought his lips downwards to meet the precious cunt he had been dreaming of. 

With a whimper that you couldn’t hold back, you jerked away from him. Aemond pulled away in surprise, his gaze full of confusion and lust and insecurity. “Wait, my love—“

You had slipped free of his grasp, a strangled cry escaping no matter how hard you tried to keep it in. There was one tear that slipped free, followed by countless more and you couldn’t look at him anymore, couldn’t bear to see that he was hurt before scrambling away from him. 

She was stuck in your mind. The memory of Aemond’s little trysts with her replaying behind your eyes no matter how hard you tried to shut it out. It was clear that there was nothing you could do to get ahold of yourself because everytime you looked at him, so enthralled in you and your sex, she was there. 

Laughing at you in the back of your mind, as if she had taken residence in a permanent place in your head, enjoying the state of despair and madness she and Aemond had led you to. 

But she couldn’t be in your head. Not really. Not in the way it felt she was. 

You barely glanced back at Aemond through your tears, struggling to even your breathing and calm the rapid beating of your heart. He hadn’t moved much; just simply stayed there frowning at the space that you had once occupied on the chair. 

There was nothing he could do to change things. Aemond knew that as well as you did. But there was a pain in your heart at the way he looked so defeated, so guilty that it almost seemed like he would melt into a puddle of remorse. A far stretch from the usual stoic warrior that you had known him as.

“My prince, I–” you swallowed, your voice catching when he looked up at you with a wide eye and furrowed eyebrows. For a moment you remembered that he had no right - but he was trying, was he not? “I cannot continue with this knowing that you had touched her like this. It angers me and it upsets me and it pains me to think of it but ‘tis beyond my control.”

He stayed silent, observing the way you hid yourself from him and struggled to meet his gaze. There was a sullen look to you, one you had not entered with and it stuck needles in his flesh to think that he had been the cause of it. Aemond’s entire body felt hot and he was itching to tear off his leathers. He wished the gods would strike him down as he was for hurting you so.

You had turned away, disappearing from his quarters swiftly. You would never forget the image of how you had left him there–it was both satisfying and devastating. 

Aemond, still on his knees for the ghost of you, his expression tortured and his shoulders tensed. It was a pathetic sight, should anyone stumble upon it, but you considered it beautiful. Beautiful in a lethal, catastrophic manner. Not unlike himself; a weaponised source of destruction who had a tendency to bring torment upon those he loved. 

The rest of your day had been spent alone in your chambers. You hadn’t cried so much over any of it until now. The tears and sobs that you had held inside of yourself for weeks had forced themselves out, along with the emotions you had pushed down until you could no longer. 

Aemond had a certain control while you were sitting in that seat, skirts bunched to your stomach and quivering for him to have his way. Regardless, the power was still yours and you knew that it was Aemond who was wrapped tightly around your finger at that moment. He would have listened to anything you had said–done anything you had told him to do. 

Perhaps you had become too stubborn in your anger to have let yourself feel anything else. A retributive anger; one that sprouted from the lack of love that existed in your marriage and reached a climax at Aemond’s brazen adultery. And it only grew stronger in whatever back and forth Aemond had encouraged by dangling his whore in front of your face. 

Whatever it was, you were feeling so much more now than you had before. 

Or perhaps it was because you could see that Aemond was remorseful. He would never yet admit it but you knew from the way he had behaved since you had visited him in his bed. It was no act of redemption and definitely no apology but it was impossible to ignore the change in him. You had never seen Aemond the way you had seen him this morning. 

Vulnerable, gentle, tormented. 

A knock on your door had you sniffling and wiping away any tear stains that may have lingered on your cheeks. You had stopped crying for some time but the need to wallow and lament had stayed. When you called out to ask, the guard at your door notified you of the Dowager Queen’s presence. 

Oh, seven hells. 

There was really no chance you could refuse her so you merely let her in and called a servant to bring some refreshments. Queen Alicent sat herself down but remained tense, carefully watching you as you took a place beside her. 

“Have you been crying?” Her concern was comforting. “I believe I know why.”

You straightened, not meeting the eye of the woman who reached a tender hand to your knee. Hiding behind a forced smile, you let out a breathy laugh. “I am certain the entirety of the Red Keep knows, Your Grace.”

“It has been known for some time,” Alicent was gentle, her cautionary gaze telling you that she was apprehensive about bringing her son’s misadventures up. You held your breath. “Since the first time he had summoned that Alys woman-”

“Alys? Is that her name?”

“You do not know?” There was a tense silence. Alicent couldn’t meet your gaze, pity swimming across her features. Aemond was her son and there were many things that she had let her sons get away with but her heart pained at the broken quiver in your voice. 

Alicent had noticed the change in Aemond since the night that you had found him with Alys. The second time. He had never paid much attention to you aside from what appearances required yet Alicent knew her son far more than he would be willing to accept. She had known that there was something in his heart for you, no matter how small and no matter how it dwindled until set alight. 

Aemond had done the wrong thing. She had no doubts about that. Alicent would have words with him once she figured out what to say to him. But he was her son and there were certain misdoings that she knew she had to defend them through. To protect his marriage, his image and his happiness. The Queen Dowager cleared her throat and reached for your hand, eyebrows furrowing at the way you stared down at your lap, the anguish you felt in your heart written clearly across your face. 

“I understand that you are hurting, my dear. Although my husband remained faithful to me until his death and I cannot quite imagine the pain in your heart–I see how you have love for my son, even if you nor him have known it, I do understand,” Alicent took a breath, closing her eyes. “This is the way of men. And princes–”

“Please, Your Grace, I mean this with utmost respect for you but I do not wish to hear your excuses,” you whispered. There was a prickly, breathless worry that had settled in your gut. What did you not know? Was this Alys someone who mattered? “But I would like to know what you are withholding from me about this woman. I believe I deserve that at the very least.”

Alicent stared at you for a moment, examining you. She could drive her son further into the ground with what she was about to say. “Aemond had a paramour–at least it was rumoured, he never spoke of such things with me. Alys Rivers, a wetnurse and servant woman from Harrenhal.”

“A paramour?”

“It was before you were married,” Alicent was quick to clarify. “I had assumed that Aemond wanted nothing more to do with her when she left–at his order, I believe. Some say she was a witch. Perhaps she enchanted him.” 

You couldn’t look at her. She was more than just a whore? Had he lied to you right from the beginning? Bile rose up in your throat. There was a thrum in your ears, the sound of your own heartbeat and you feared that you would be sick from the drop in your gut. 

“Did he love her? Could he still?”

Alicent sucked in a breath. “I do not know, my child.”

All you could do was nod pathetically. Alicent was a woman of great strength and dedication; you had once wished to be much like her one day. But as you sat beside her now, you wished she had been a liar and a cheat and a meddling gossip. That you could find a way to fault her words but you could tell it caused her great difficulty to speak of Aemond’s actions honestly. 

Ever poised and elegant, Alicent only leaned forward to you, her posture straight as a needle and her touch soft as linen. “I did not mean to upset you further. I only meant to speak with you about returning to Courtly activities, with the other Ladies and Helaena has been asking for you. And the Ladies speak–”

“They speak terribly of me,” you scoffed, allowing a humourless laugh. “I understand, Your Grace. I will return to spending my days in company other than my own.”

Alicent hated to pry but she felt that she must, now that she had dealt her cards against Aemond’s fate. “Perhaps you should speak with Aemond. He cares for you deeply. It would be a shame for your union to fall apart over such misunderstandings.”

If not for formality, you would have rolled your eyes. Again, you simply nodded, your mind reeling back to the woman that Alicent had given a name to. You would ask Aemond about her. It would be the less damning option rather than turning to Aegon once more but the idea of speaking to Aemond about a woman he may once have loved still made you want to crawl underneath the sheets of your bed and disappear. 

You thought of the woman who you had seen through the crack in the door and wished you had taken extra care in looking at her. There was little you could recall other than the darkness and length of her hair, the paleness of her skin and the perfection in her curves as she pleasured Aemond and as he did the same for her. 

As if she was familiar with all the things that made him weak. All the things that made Aemond weak. How she had touched him like she was an expert in his body. And you thought of Aemond, bare and comfortable with her. Aemond with his sapphire glimmering under the lamplight instead of an eye, a rawness and trust that you had never seen of him until that night. 

He trusted her.

Alys Rivers. 

.....................................................

Tagging: @padfooteyes @thedyingwriter @mamawiggers1980 @queenofshinigamis @ewanmitchellfanatic @nurtargaryen

[phthalomushroom]

The Family (3)

last next

pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader

summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?

word count: 3.3k

warnings: language, mentions of trauma, mentions of shooting, alys rivers, Italians, drunk aemond??

notes: this felt rushed but it is also long - sorry about that, idk what happened I've been super busy!!!

You hadn’t spoken to Baela the entire way home.

To say you were more than pissed was an understatement. You couldn’t tell if you were more mad at the situation or at your best friend for keeping such monumental information from you. You stormed into your apartment with a plan to shut yourself in your room for the night when Baela stopped you.

“I was told not to tell you.”

You whipped around. “What?”

“Aemond… wanted to be the one to tell you.”

“And how would he have told me?” You had blocked his number and his social media when you left the city, fully shutting him out of your life. She gave a weak smile.“He didn’t say.”

You crossed your arms. 

Baela let out a long breath. “Listen, even if Aemond didn’t ask me not to say anything, I wouldn’t have brought it up.”

“You're my best friend Baela, I should have been told. What kind of friend are you?”

“One that remembers how fucking destroyed you were when you two broke up. One that remembers you leaving the city, fleeing from everyone all because of a fucking guy.”

“Which is why I should have known!”

“Why!” Her voice rose. “So you can run again?”

“I wasn’t running!”

“Then what the fuck were you doing?”

Escaping.

But you couldn’t say that. You couldn’t say that because it would make everything that happened that night too real. It would make everything and everyone you had shut out all these years pointless.

“I couldn’t deal with another 10 hour train ride,” Baela said after a minute of your silence. “Clearly there is still something you have towards Aemond.”

“Baela-”

“Whether it’s feelings or unresolved shit, I don’t know. Just… maybe seeing him, talking to him, will help you.”

She moved past you to go towards her room. She stopped with her hand on the door. “I’m sorry for the part I played in this, but Aemond asked and-”

“You couldn’t say no.”

She frowned, opening the door to step into her room. “He’s the head of the family now since Otto is in jail. You know whatever is asked goes.”

Your heart dropped. 

Aemond was head of the family?

********

You had an awful night's sleep. You tossed and turned, thinking about what Baela had said. 

Aemond was head of the house, he now ran the family which meant he called all the shots. He finally achieved what he had wanted all those years ago, but how he got there is what plagued you.

Your clock was nearing eight in the morning when your phone chimed. You looked at it seeing a message from an unsaved number, your heart sank as you read the screen.

Heard you're back in town, we need to catch up. - A

The fucking bastard. 

You had half a mind to tell him how caught up you were when you decided against it. You threw your phone on your bed and began getting ready for the day, making your way to the kitchen. You saw a note on the table from Baela, apologizing for last night and how she wanted to talk it over more when she got back from the dinner tonight.

You crumbled the note throwing it in the trash. You had already forgiven her in all honesty, you couldn’t be mad at her for long. Besides you were being too harsh on Baela, after all you hadn’t told her anything from that night. She only knew that you and Aemond weren’t together anymore and that you needed to leave right away. In the end you were taking a lot of your frustrations out on her rather than the real person causing it. But to redirect those feelings meant that you would need to talk to Aemond and that wasn’t going to happen.

Not anytime soon anyway.

You sent Baela a quick text telling her all is forgiven and that you would see her when she got back from the celebration dinner. 

You rummaged through the cabinets trying to find anything to eat but it seems like you’d need to do a grocery run. Thankfully you didn’t start full time at work till next week, your employer understood that you needed to settle into your “new” home. 

At least that's what you had hinted at when they asked when you could start.

You put your shoes on and headed out of the apartment, going to the cafe that was a block away from where you lived. From what you remembered this place had the best chocolate croissants and made the best drinks you’ve ever had.

You had just put in your order, sitting at one of the corner tables, scrolling through your phone as you waited for your name to be called, when the chair across from you screeched.

You looked up meeting the delightful green eyes of Alicent Hightower. 

You nearly choked on your spit.

She smiled cheerily at you. “I heard you were in town.”

You smiled back, putting your phone in your bag. “I just got in yesterday, I was gonna call but-” 

She held her hand up. “Best not to, there are prying eyes and listening ears all around that house I swear.”

You laughed. Alicent Hightower had been like a mother to you when your own mother left. When you had come crying to Aemond freshman year when your family was falling apart, Alicent was the one who wrapped her arms around you and let you stay in the house until you were ready to go back.

You still remember her rage when you had told her about the note your mother left.

She truly was one of the things you missed about the Targaryen family. 

“What are you doing on this side of the city?” Alicent, along with most of her family lived in an estate on the East side of the city that overlooked the canal.

“You know this side makes the best pastries.” She gestured to the boxes by her feet. 

“Georginos is pretty stellar.”

She grinned, reaching across the table to give your hands a squeeze. “And how are you doing?”

You put on a convincing smile. “Great, no problems yet.”

She nodded. “Good to hear. After what Aemond told me, I’m surprised you decided to stick around here.”

Your heart dropped. “What?”

“The rats, dear. I don’t know how you and Baela are able to live in an apartment with rats in it.”

You swallowed your confusion. “A lot of traps.”

“Aemond said he’s heading over later to talk with the exterminator, I’m confident he’ll take care of you.”

You nodded along. “Yup!”

She squeezed your hands again. “I’m so happy that you and him could remain friends all these years, I mean I had half a mind to drag him to Winterfell and make nice.”

You nodded along, hoping your face didn’t show the confusion and anger you felt.

“Anyway, what is your number? I've missed our chats.”

You hastily reached into your bag, wanting the uncomfortableness of this conversation to end. You pulled your phone out and along with it, the invite from Alys.

Alicent’s eyes widened, upon seeing the crumpled invitation. She looked up at you smiling. “I was hoping Aemond would take my advice on inviting you.”

You gave a half hearted laugh, shoving the invite back into your bag.

Could this get any worse? 

“So I take it I'll be seeing you tonight then.” She stooped to pick up the pastry boxes. 

Come fucking on.

“I actually wasn’t planning on attending.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

You stumbled over your words. “I’m Aemond’s ex.”

“But you're part of the family.”

“It wouldn’t look good if I came.”

“And why not? You and Aemond are still best friends, it would be absurd for you not to be there.”

“I just don’t think Alys-”

Alicent snorted. “Screw what Alys thinks, I’m the one paying for the whole damn charade. I might as well get a say in who gets to come.”

Just then your order got called. She grinned pushing in her chair. “Till tonight, dear.” 

You watched her walk out, at a loss for words frozen in your seat.

What the fuck just happened?

********

You had managed to fill Baela in on the phone of what happened in the cafe. Telling her about Aemond’s lies to his mother and the insistence of Alicent that you attended the dinner. Baela was able to stop by after work so that you two could walk in together.

You had just managed to find a dress in the back of your closet that would work for the formal occasion, your boxes from Winterfell still hadn’t come yet, to your dismay. The dress was slick black that had a perfect neckline that accentuated your boobs and yet didn’t do too much to make it seem like you were trying. Baela had described it as ‘tasteful sexy.’When you were looking in the mirror you couldn’t remember for the life of you where you had gotten it but didn’t care as you quickly left for the event.

You were already late and you didn’t want to have to spend anymore than an hour at the dinner. Luckily it was at Federicos, the whole place having been shut down for the special event. 

The restaurant came into view as you walked up the street, you could see Jace, Luce, and Rhaena all standing outside waiting. 

“You ready?” Baela asked. “We can bail out now, Luce can vomit on cue.”

“Tempting but gross,” You responded. You let out a long breath fidgeting with your handbag. “If I don’t show up Alys will be smug, and Alicent will hunt me down.”

“You don’t say no to the family.” She squeezed your hand.

You approached your friends, plastering on a smile that you knew you’d have on all night.

Rhaena hugged you first. “Finally, I’ve been trying to get Baela to let me come over to see you.”

“Yeah, it's been a crazy first day back.”

“Are you ready to go in?” Jace asked.

 “Of course, I’ve been wanting those garlic knots since we left last night.”

You hated faking it for them. You’d rather leave, you’d rather not be here. But maybe this was a fateful way of telling you to face your shit head on. So you took a deep breath as everyone filed inside, squared your shoulders and knew that you would get drunk as shit after this.

For now you picked up a cocktail from the bar with the others and sipped carefully, you needed a clear head for the night. You already spotted Alys making her rounds around the room, but hadn’t noticed Aemond among the crowd. You looked around again seeing Alicent sitting at the corner booth, nursing a glass of wine.

“I’m gonna go make an appearance with Alicent,” you told Baela.

You snaked your way through the crowd, all mostly being people from Alys’s side with a few Targaryens and Hightowers mixed in. A part of you wondered why more of the family hadn’t come but those thoughts were put on the back burner when you took the seat across from Alicent. 

She smiled. “Glad you could make it, love.”

“Glad to have been invited.

She waved you off. “Of course.”

“This place looks amazing, Alys really outdid herself.” You looked around at the black and white monochrome decorations that were dispersed around the restaurant. 

“It’s tacky,” she frowned. “And dull.” 

You chuckled. “You are just as blunt as I remember you.”

She lifted her glass. “Always.”

Her eyes drifted over your shoulder just as you heard a voice say your name. You turned to see a wide eyed Aemond Targaryen standing in all black with an empty whisky glass in his hand and a beer in the other. His hair that was cut short the last time you saw him had grown out and was now tied in a bun at the nape of his neck. He was as handsome as ever and the skip your heart did told you everything you needed to know.

You needed to be strong and you needed to be cold. 

You swallowed the panic that rose and instead raised your glass to him. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

That seemed to knock him out of his stupor as he gave you an easy smile. 

You heard Alicent get up from her seat, rounding to her son. “I can take this to the bar, you two should catch up.”

Aemond let her move past him, taking the empty glass from his hand before he slid into the seat opposite of you. He leaned back like he didn’t have a care in the world, his eyes glazed. “You never answered my text.”

“What text?” You took a sip of your drink.

He smirked, taking a sip of his beer. “You never were a good liar.”

“I blocked your number.”

“I got another number.”

You shook your head, he was still insufferable it seemed. “Seems like a lot of trouble to contact an ex.”

“You’re worth it.”

“You're engaged.” You weren’t going to let him win this. 

He leaned forward putting his forearms on the table as he set the beer down. The veins of his forearms strained slightly. “I was going to tell you when we met up.”

“And how would we have done that?”

“Well if you were going to continue ignoring me it was going to be more of an “accidental” meeting. I think that would have been charming.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re insane.”

“And you are still as beautiful as the day I first saw you.”

“I wonder how Alys would feel about that comment.”

“Alys isn’t here,” he slurred. 

Now that pissed you off. Yes, you hated Alys Rivers but like hell were you going to be treated like some mistress. “You're an asshole, you know that?”

He shrugged, leaning back as he took a swig of his beet. “I don’t understand how I can be the asshole when you're the one wearing a dress that I bought you. That is just insulting to my soon to be bride.”

Your stomach turned. That’s where you knew the dress from. Aemond had gotten it for you on your last anniversary. But if he was going to be an asshole about it, so could you. Strong and cold, that’s what you needed to be. 

You shrugged like he did. “A lot of men have bought me a lot of things over the years, I must have just forgotten.”

Something flickered in his eyes at that, like a fire had suddenly been lit. “You’re lying.”  

“Kinda like how you're lying to your mom about us.”

His face blanched, clearly taken aback. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re best friends? You’re helping with the rats in my apartment?”

He regained his composure quicker than you thought. “We are best friends and I did help with the rats.”

“That was the first week we moved in and it was one.”

He waved his hand. “Semantics.”

“We haven’t talked in years and from what your mother tells me it’s like we talk everyday.”

He leaned on the table again“What are you doing here, (y/n).”

“I was invited by your beautiful fiancee and your mother.”

“No, what are you really doing here?”

You ground your teeth. “Your mother invited me. You don’t say no to the family.”

“Except you.”

“What?”

“Everyone else can’t say no but you.”

You frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You were always the exception, (y/n). Then, now, always.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I know that if you really didn’t want to come here you wouldn’t have, rules be damned. So why did you really show up here in a dress I bought you for our anniversary?”

You hadn’t realized it but during your exchanging of words his hands and yours had moved closer, your fingertips just touching.

Just then Alys came around the table sitting on Aemond’s lap, he pulled his hands away snaking them around her waist. “We’re doing toasts soon, honey.”

His eye drifted to you, before he looked at Alys. “I’ll be there in a minute, just need to finish this conversation.”

Alys suddenly looked at you, her eyebrows shooting up as she tried to look surprised. “Oh, you came! I gotta say I didn’t think you’d show.”

You looked at Aemond then. “I’m just here for the celebration.”

She smirked. “Well I hope your gift is nice, gods know enough of these people only gave us cash.”

She stood up then, leaning down and giving Aemond a long kiss. You looked at your now empty glass. 

He pulled away first, giving her a weak smile before she darted off back in the crowd. He folded his arms over his chest. “Celebrating Alys and I’s engagement? Seems very mature of you.”

You scoffed. “And how would you like me to react Aemond? Smash all the glasses, destroy the present table, burn the whole place to the ground?

It was his turn to scoff. “Well at least it would be a reaction, instead of this cold whatever.”

“I have been nothing but polite since we started talking.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“Then what are you talking about, Aemond?”

He leaned forward. “You’re shutting me out, putting walls up, being cold.”

“And what’s the problem with that? You were the one who told me to leave, Aemond. Then I come back and you’re trying to act like we’re friends. I don’t know you.”

“You’ll always know me, just like I will always know you.”

“Then how come I look at you and I don’t recognize you.”

“Maybe you don’t want to recognize me.”

“Don’t do that.”

He smirked. “Do what?”

You gestured to him. “Those stupid fucking games - answering my questions with questions, giving stupid fucking philosophical answers.”

He crossed his arms. “And why is that?”

You huffed. “You’re a prick.”

He shrugged. “At least I got some reaction out of you instead of that ice princess bullshit.” His voice went high pitched as he mocked you- “congratulations are in order, beautiful fiancee.”

“Is being nice a crime now in your family?

“No but being a liar and a coward is.”

You rolled your eyes. “Get a grip, Aemond.”

“What’s the real reason you came tonight?”

“I was invited by Alys and your mother, you know how they both can be.”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “I think you came here because you were curious, you couldn’t stay away.”

You wanted to laugh. This was such bullshit, what even was happening right now. Was he mad at you cause you weren’t mad? 

“Admit it.” He scooted closer.“I think you wanted to be here tonight to see for yourself if you could get me back.” He was leaning across the table now, his eyes flitting between yours. His voice dropped. “The ring was always yours, she’s just keeping it warm for ya darling.” 

You could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was clearly drunk and now he was being cruel. When you knew him he would never have let himself get to this level of intoxicated and he certainly would never have been so mean to you.

What the fuck happened when you left?

You shook your head, looking away from him.“I’m not here for you, Aemond.”

He arched his brow. “Then why’d you come?”

“To see for myself that everything we had was a lie.”

He leaned back, shaking his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Seeing you tonight like this, with her, I understand now that it wasn’t love we had but convenience.” You started getting up. “I hope you two are very happy together.”

He stared wide eyed, watching as you began pushing through the crowd. “Wait.”

“Goodbye, Aemond. Have a good wedding.” You waved over your shoulder as you walked away from Aemond Targaryen.

Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep

[ca-suffit]

sorry how long this is, but this fandom is pissing me off so much and I need to rant a little before I explode lol.

-- madeleine (nonchalantly) says of sleeping with a literal nazi, "I was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits," and then when louis turns her we see this as a pleasant memory, and I'm supposed to believe someone who could take pity on a nazi (even if he "wasn't dedicated to the cause") and remember him fondly isn't going to be racist? so I'm the weird one for finding claudeine to be a gross ship and being exasperated by seeing edits of them flood my dash? and every time I talk about this on ANY platform, I mostly get ignored and the few people who do interact w my posts are denying it and saying she had to do it to survive, as if she didn't also literally say she grew up rich like 30 seconds prior.

-- a decent chunk of the anti lestat crowd insists he participated in the trial as an act of revenge and can't say his name w/o talking about how they hate him (bc his racism + abuse), and these are the same people going apeshit over ben daniels saying that santiago was gay and in love with armand, as if he isn't one of the most antiblack characters we've met on the show bc he was quite literally eager to put on the trial solely bc he hated louis for falling asleep during one of his performances. and don't get me started on his monologue about claudia's ashes. and yet ppl are excitedly eating ben's interview up. 🙄

-- the narrative literally showing us that lestat has changed since the attempted murder (going off script on the trial in defense of louis & claudia, taking accountability for his abuse, staying silent about the fact that he was the one to save louis & letting him leave w armand when we know how terrifying being alone is for lestat, spending decades living in that shack and eating rats to punish himself vs the hedonistic & decadent lifestyle we saw him living in s1) and the anti lestat crowd claiming this is just him being manipulative and are furious that the writers had louis forgive him. like normally I agree that it's in very poor taste to paint an abuser as sympathetic, but the thing about this show is that these characters are immortal and have all the time in the world to change. like this isn't the writers sweeping it under the rug, they're explicitly acknowledging how horrific lestat's behavior was and there are literally canon glimpses showing us that lestat has become a better person (and I'm sure this will be fleshed out more next season as we'll get his pov) and, like, isn't it a good thing to see an abusive character realize the error of their ways and alter their behavior and become better????? like it's fair to not want to see that, but this is the wrong show to be watching if you can't handle seeing abusers change their ways & being forgiven by the people they've hurt (especially since it's pretty much confirmed armand/daniel is going to happen at some point and given I'm sure they'll be circling around each other, I feel confident that louis will eventually forgive armand too)

ur fine, u can rant! I have a lot in my inbox but I try to get to it all eventually in whatever way.

idk how much u wanted me to comment on anything or not, but I'm gonna add comments and u do whatever u want with it.

a) ur never going to have an easy time criticizing a white woman in fandom. it reflects too much of what fandom is usually made up of and ppl will usually tell u it's misogyny to judge these characters if u ever try (most of the time it's not, but that's a convenient excuse to shut down convos).

the show intentionally makes everyone do p questionable shit, especially the white characters. it doesn't tell u how to feel about it, that's up to u. that makes ppl uncomfortable. it goes further too when it is someone like madeleine, who is otherwise seen in positive ways. it's reflective of real life and that's what scares ppl the most. nobody ever fits in a box of only "good" or "bad." a lot of what the book for IWTV asks too is what defines that anyways? and S1 also said "are we the sum of our worst moments?" so it is constantly asking u that and it is for u to decide and reflect on.

b) white, gay stuff is also gonna be popular in fandoms. ben daniels is also gay irl and his husband just died so there's crossover from that to praising his character bcuz ppl feel sympathy for him. I also think ppl detach more from his actions bcuz he's not romantically linked to the characters he's torturing. ppl also just honestly dgaf about antiblackness anyways so for most ppl it's easy to overlook. which is how we get posts like this.

I mean, u can also like whatever characters u like for any reason. some ppl like characters not bcuz they support what they do, but bcuz they're just enjoyable to watch in performance or connection to the plot or whatever. I think examining santiago after what ben said about his performance is something ppl should be able to do, and again it circles back to the stuff I wrote for madeleine. where does ur (general u) discomfort lie and why? as u said, if it's ppl who dislike lestat then it's worth looking at that too, why are the characters different then?

c) there's sort of 2 things happening for this part. the first is that 2x8 did have pacing issues, for whatever reasons. a lot of ppl felt like it flattened the plot and characters for the sake of making lestat look the best (over armand) and rly shoving it in out of nowhere. the second part is what u said about the themes. I've always figured they were going to explore forgiveness and personal growth, but I also know it isn't going to be easy for ppl to follow. hopefully the full seasons coming do a better job of this but for 2x8 there were a lot of reasons ppl felt crazy about the way it was shown to us. I also agree that other characters will have these journeys with each other too. it was just such a sharp turn for S2 to end on highlighting the white character we've otherwise seen as being p horrible and suddenly saying "it's the brown character who rly did the worst!" I don't think they intended to come across like that but it's how it landed for a lot of ppl. it doesn't mean ppl have an issue with the concept of forgiveness and stuff otherwise. we'll have to see how it goes. but ya there's 2 things going on there for this rn.

[chuuya-qna]

────ᅠFarewellᅠ🎩🥂

Long time no see... Sadly, I've come to say goodbye. I thank all of you for your questions— running this blog was very fun! But I lost motivation to continue, so I debated for a while... and decided to leave it up as an archive (at least for a while, idk if I'll delete it), but ultimately close the curtains.

However ! I wouldn't like the remaining questions to be left unanswered, so I will respond as Chūya to them under the cut of this post. I have no drawings to accompany them, but I wanted to at least answer as a final “thank you” to the people who left them.

Closing this blog leaves a bitter sweet taste in my mouth, but who knows... maybe fate we'll reunite us once more. So... Thank you, to everyone who ever interacted with my Chūya, whether bia questions or just by leaving a like or a repost. I sincerely hope you guys liked my interpretation of him, even if it was short-lived.

For now, I (and him) bow you farewell. May we meet again— somewhere, somehow. And check the answers below the cut if you left any question!

Sincerely yours,

— Mod 🍳 & Chūya.

Left by lacunazai:

“ YOOOOO what's your favourite breed of dog and what do you like in your sandwiches ”

Left by anon:

“ What's your favorite frog breed? ”

🍷:ᅠ...Curious about my taste in dogs, huh? Two people made the same question. * Chuckles *

I like all kinds of dogs, to be honest. But if I had to choose... German shepherds, probably. As for sandwiches, I can eat whatever— but I guess egg sandwiches are the ones I eat most often.

Left by anon:

“ CHU CHU CHU CHU CHU CHUUYA my sweet pookie bear beloved bbg do you think that ohio has enough skibidi rizz to mew the sigma male into submission? ”

🍷:ᅠ...What the fuck did you just say to me? I didn't understand shit about that, but from the words you're saying, I assume you may be below the minimum age to use this app. Tumblr is +13, y'know? Although even if you're above that age, I suggest you just go do your homework or something. Just don't piss me off further with this nonsense.

Left by ⭐:

“ Sharks or dolphins !!!!!!:3333 ”

🍷:ᅠUh, not gonna lie to ya— never cared much about either. But I'd pick sharks, I suppose.

Left by milesgamer:

“ Chuuya, have you forgiven Verlaine for what he did to you? ”

( referencing the Stormbringer novel )

🍷:ᅠ...Yeah. It's hard, but, uh... We started from the same spot, I just got luckier rolls. I could've been in his situation, and he could've been in mine, so... Even if it hurts, even if I get sad or angry thinking 'bout those memories, I... can't find in myself to not forgive him.

...Anyways, who are you? How do you know about what happened?

Left by anon:

“ hey Chuuya? Why did you drop Sigma so many times? (Poor baby didn't deserve it) ”

( referencing events from the manga )

🍷:ᅠTo get him to wake the fuck up, wasn't it obvious? Dropped the guy 15 TIMES and he still continued sleeping like a bear. I'm no sleep genius, but that wasn't a normal nap. Not my problem anymore, though— hope he wakes up eventually or something. Not like I particularly care.

...Wait, how do you know about what happened, anyways!? Pretty sure the only person who saw that was that bas— don't tell me it's you, walking bag of bandages... 💢

Left by anon:

“ (I just got into the anime last month, and I just want to say thank you for coming up with this. I've never been more entertained in my life. Remember to take care of yourself, drink water, and get at least 8 hours of sleep. Please feel free to decline this, I may have missed something reading your guidelines. XD)

Salutations. What's your opinion on music generally? Do you hate any generes and is there a favorite song you like listen to?”

🍷:ᅠI adore music. One of my biggest interests, I'd say. I respect anything that's clearly made with passion, so I guess the only genres I'd hate would be the ones where you can't feel that passion at all. Overly commercialized music clearly catered to the masses only to gain money make my blood boil, specially when you can tell the artist has potential. But at the same time I still get the motivation of getting payed, y'know? But there's ways to still make a good buck without having to sell your soul to whatever trend is popular at the moment.

As for a favorite song... I generally gravitate towards rock and its subgenres. I like J-Rock, but right now I'd say I'm listening to a lot of international rock— been looping Can't Stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers lately, but I wouldn't say I have a favorite song. Not right now, at least. Sorry to disappoint ya.

🍳:ᅠAHHH ANON ☹️💓 it's sad to read such a sweet message just as I'm closing this blog, but I'm glad my Chūya interpretation was able to entertain you! Thank you for the reminders, and I hope you're having a good time getting into BSD. Thank you for sticking by!

Left by trilliumszz:

“ Is it true that ur scared of elevators ”

( referencing a Wan! chapter, I believe )

🍷:ᅠHAAAH? Where did you hear such bullshit? Don't go believing everything you hear about me... No, I'm not scared of elevators. Why would I be? The only good reason to be scared of 'em if it's starts failing, because the floor can break and you'd just fall down...

I-I mean— I wouldn't be scared in that situation either, clearly.

Left by 🫧:

“ Chuuchuu would you rather be stuck in a room with Dazai or be crushed by a meteorite ”

🍷:ᅠMeteorite, clearly. Is there even any doubt about it? Ah, and don't you dare call me by that stupid nickname ever again. 💢

Anyways, that was the last question. Some of you were annoying little fucks, but I enjoyed my time here with y'all. Thank you for leaving questions. C'ya someday, I suppose. * Tips hat *

──── That's all, folks! Thank you for sticking by right up to the end. Hope we meet somewhere else, and I'm sorry for not answering these asks with drawings... But I hope you enjoy Chūya's answered nonetheless! If you wish to see more of my stuff, you can find me at @onelastorm .

[buckgettingstruck]

okay since you twisted my arm about it 🙄🤨

we all know buck and tommy aren’t compatible. like they have the worst chemistry on the show i cant think of a single pairing that has worse chemistry than they do its just so dry they’re giving us nothinggggg

BUT. i 10000% in my soul KNOW that buck would absolutely not touch that man with a ten foot pole if he knew how he’d participated in the treatment of hen + chim when he was at the 118

which leads to two options as to how the narrative could have their relationship in the first place

1: tommy’s bigotry has been forgiven by the narrative off-screen and will never be addressed again (this is the most likely unfortunately) (especially with the bachelor party comment about knowing chimney longer + chim calling him for the backup from his team)

2: buck has no idea how tommy acted back then (no one told him?) (when he finds out it’s bones SOOO fast)

(i thought there might be a third option but i feel like anything i said could fit under the category of 1 or 2 but lmk!)

okay not to be a defender. but we’re forgetting marisol when it comes to worst chemistry i think 😔

and yeah it seems like hen and chim forgive him i guess??? idk if you’re talking about chimney calling him in s7 or way back in s2 when that whole neighborhood was going up in flames but idk. or at least they tolerated him 😭 i remembered the comment to hen like “i havent gotten your christmas cards” and how chimney didnt INVITE HIM TO THE WEDDING. AND DIDNT GIVE A SHIT AB HIM BEING IN THE HOSPITAL 😭 LIKE HELLO??? they also showed him being friendly with them in bobby begins again but hey we also know the 118 didnt become a family until after he left and buck showed up

i think it leans more toward 2 though? or a mix of the both? with the way they have tommy phrase things to buck about gerrard im assuming he doesn’t know tbh. not to make buck sound like a White Savior tm or anything but i REALLY doubt he’d let that shit fly 😭 and i feel like the way they wrote him in 7b as a mouthpiece to remind us of gerrard’s existence and little else is pointing the narrative in a specific direction. they keep pointing out their connection and tommy’s history so it has to go somewhere right?

something about the scene in 709 keeps fucking with me and i havent seen anyone point it out. he doesnt say SHIT to gerrard. we know tommy to be a pretty blunt character so why the hell didnt he? ik it was chimney’s moment there to clap back (and no he wasnt defending tommy he was defending himself) but he still could’ve said something too to show how different he is and they didnt do that. also they deleted his scene with hen for some reason. were they trying to show he’s still complicit or was it lazy writing?

the other thing is is that gerrard is fucking cooked 😭 like you’re telling me that the firehouse with the catchphrase “who cares” would give a fuck about that bag of bones. and arguably the only person who could be theoretically a part of gerrard’s Old Guard is both bisexual and the mf that wont shut up 😭

ultimately i want the gerrard shit to be about hen and chimney getting their comeuppance (and also eddie beating gerrard with his fists idc) but it feels like something related to gerrard might be what causes tommy tombstone tbh. like i could see tommy telling buck to lay low or whatever and buck is immediately like fuck that or something. otherwise tho i want the storyline to focus on other characters

[mukuberry]

i just realized i kept writing it as 02 instead of 03 MY BAD OOPSIES

anyways akuji's 02, 03 is different

03 pre-milgram was part of a girl idol group. the girl group has many male fans and one in particular took way too much interest in 03

03 didn't mind the good or bad attention she got and the stalker (i'm just gonna call him K for now) eventually found the location to her apartment. instead of panicking, 03 decided to 'hire' the stalker to kill her critics in exchange for suggestive pictures of herself (like bikini pics). 03 doesn't really like sending the pictures but she figures that it's better than paying money. and besides, what's wrong with getting a little more fame?

anyways here's some fun facts about 03!

if she ever got a pet, she'd get a sphynx cat or a bichon frise

always has strawberry scented things on hand. strawberry perfume, strawberry lipgloss, strawberry bodywash, you name it! she thinks it makes her standout amongst her groupmates

loves the project diva games and kills at rhythm games in general. just don't mention project diva x around her.

closeted lesbian if i'm being honest. doesn't want to admit bc she thinks it'll ruin her idol career

doesn't get along with the wardens very much. REALLY doesn't like mamoru bc she thinks he's trying to take advantage of the female prisoners (even tho he's not)

loves putting makeup on herself and the other prisoners. asks for makeup every week probably

hell yeah radfem idol... she seems pretty unforgivable imo but thats okay women r allowed to do whatever they want forever <3 she's pretty dependent on attention from others, viewing her group mates as competition she needs to stand out against and being chill with a stalker,,, so maybe she'll like the wardens a lil more if she's forgiven? to watch her memories like they're watching one of her songs, and to forgive her no matter how bad she is, it'll really make em look like her fans lol

x

If strawberries are her theme as an idol, all these meanings seem to be a pretty good message to send your fans :) sincere feelings, being made happy by their support... she doesn't seem to rlly like her fans as people and more as a way to get what she wants, whether it be attention or literal murder of people who don't like her, but i guess they are still making her happy in that way. 'Temptation of all consuming love' seems pretty in line with her stalker becoming more and more obsessed with her and consumed by his love for her, slowly getting closer and closer to her..... and 'working towards/reaping the rewards of one's labour' would probably apply to both of them, with her using him to further her career and him working towards finding her home and practically being rewarded for it, getting more rewards for each 'job' he does for her.

In that sense, when u said monitoring could kinda be a cover song for her, i guess its alot more of his pov than hers... i like her :] idk much abt project diva games but i had a look online and it seems pretty controversial,, i havent had a proper look but it seems like they tried something new (idk what) and it didn't work out? If she 'kills' at rhythm games ill be sure to keep my mouth shut lmao

[jimmy-johns-was-taken]

Hey! Idk if you've done head cannons for Liu & Sully (if you feel like writing for him 2) but I'd love to hear them! (P.s. your majoras mask poster is awesome!)

RAHHHHH THANK YOU!!

Also, should I start adding Liu to my post? I’ve been considering it

Homicidal Liu Headcanons

Starting off really angsty

Sully despises Jeff

I mean genuinely hates him

Liu on the another hand?

I know realistically that Liu would never forgive Jeff and the only way anything like that would happen is if Jeff were to guilt-trip Liu

But I like living in my own fantasy world

So Liu has forgiven Jeff :)

Anyways away from all the angst

Liu is somewhere in his 20s I would say

I headcanon him to be bi, but he really doesn’t care about someone’s gender so possibly pan?

He/him pronouns

Liu is someone super cool at the manor (or whatever they live in)

He gets along with just about everyone

He has his opinions on everyone (like he thought Nina was weird for a little while but then she stopped liking Jeff so it’s cool)

Liu won’t ever start fights, but he often gets involved because of Jeff

You could find him in the Library or with someone like Bloody Painter or EJ

Liu deals with Jeff a lot, so he likes the quiet the two of them bring

Sully, however, is a bigger bitch than Masky !

Most people in the manor don’t exactly like Sully, since they’re rude and aggressive

Yes I do change and use they/them for Sully

Sully just hates everyone

Except for EJ?

Sully has this odd respect for EJ and treats him better than the others

Maybe it’s because EJ is just so strong and handsome and awesome

As a partner?

Dude, Liu treats you like your royalty

Like you wanted some flowers? Got it. You want someone dead? He can do that, sure!

Overall perfect bf material, but he is traumatized so that does come with it

Sully is very hard to crack

They won’t like you at first, but then realize how much you mean to Liu and how awesome and perfect you are then they’ll slowly open up

I love Liu, I want to start writing for him more

Should I???? I totally will

[girljpg]

i warched good omens season 2

i have a lot to say that doesn't really amount to anything so i'm gonna start typing at random

i liked the romantic vibe of the season and all the cute flashbacks. the dialogue between the leads was appropriately trusting and sweet. they really leaned into showing how they rely on each other. i also like that the conflict was pretty small in scale compared to season 1. it's not armageddon, but there were still some stakes if you include all the humans that almost died. although.... heaven and hell seem to know exactly where crowley and aziraphale are... yes, they fooled them at the end of s1, but wouldn't they idk. try other means? why didn't they get their names erased from the book of life earlier if that was something higher up angels could do? whatever

i like that there were real actual gay characters (lesbians even! who looked like real people!) even though I was worried they were getting together too fast, the reveal towards the end that they were going to move slow felt realistic. but them having to talk crowley into confessing his feelings felt ripped straight from a fanfiction. the lesbians comparing themselves to aziraphale and crowley was a bit on the nose. many moments did in fact feel like fanfiction. the dancing together, the "I need you!", the "We can just be us." all of that was cute and probably something i would've written idk could you do any better??? i am not immune to fluff. but also, that's a grown man. does it not take agency away from the character to have his relationship explained to him? and then they had the gall to not even show us this conversation. ideally he would've come to a conclusion about his feelings on his own-- perhaps after seeing gabe and beez fuck off to alpha centauri and going huh. i guess you can just do that. or even just through way of flashback-- oh no wait. all of the flashbacks were from aziraphale's point of view for some reason. why didn't azi get any realizations? you know michael sheen would've ate

the "i was wrong dance" well here's the thing i did clap

I thought the set of the street in london with all the little shops looked nice although there were always so so many extras walking around. is london really that crowded?

i thought they kind of wasted muriel's character. she seems to disappear for a long time before the plot calls for her to conveniently be there. i know she's meant to be a bit dim but surely she noticed 70 demons walking down the street.... ALSO i thought the book crowley handed her was going to be good omens but it. was not

looooved shax loved new beelzebub. who else. idk everyone was really giving it their all. megatron showed up for all of two episodes i think but was pivotal for the ending. what are you doing neil. gabriel is also doing. things. they wasted jon hamm as well by making him a frustrating himbo. one of the only scenes i liked with him was crowley yelling at him for trying to kill aziraphale in s1 and then trying to jump out a window and then calling crowley nice. but that whole bit felt more like a crowley scene than a gabe scene. he does get a mug with his name on it tho and hypocritically falls in love with the fly lady so all is forgiven.

i'm gonna be real with you all.. the way they filmed the kiss felt awkward. the way the camera swings around and crowley grabs him felt very....... rehearsed? a little unnatural, i think. the way crowley LUNGES. idk i need to rewatch the last ten minutes again. and it went on so long. we got like three of four angles on it like whoah. but the reaction face we got out of michael sheen. mamma mia

"I forgive you." asdejgkasdgahdgdfs when i say i paused the ep for extended laughter lmfaoooooo. clutching a wine bottle to my chest and cheering. this fucken guy. babygirl is distraught for all of about ten seconds before it's time to start the new job. i did start yelling at my screen after that point. he had no right to look crowley dead in the eye across the street and not run back to him. COWARRD. i understand why he did it but COWARD. why, after sooo long, would you think crowley would jump for joy to be an angel again... i watched all eight minutes of the credits certain that there was going to be more but nope. catch ya next time for the second coming (of jesus?? <- does not know things about the bible)

so i was pretty satisfied with that watch. i wish the season was longer than 6 episodes but tbh they had to make this story from nothing and it shows in the romcom hijinks and threadbare mystery. but it was fun and went by quickly. then i check on the fandom and they're, get this, upset for some reason about this ending. there's no pleasing some fans i guess. good job neil you've pissed off the people who wanted them to kiss AND the people who didn't want them to kiss, bravo! hopefully in a month or so everyone will cool down about it. and if not well. plenty of fanfic fodder until season 3. not that i read good omens fanfic, but it'll be there. just be happy there was a kiss alright!!!!!!?!!!1

(i just know we're going to get a flood of people calling aziraphale a big meanie and crowley a poor little scrimbly blimbo meow meow who got rejected. booooo stop that right now)

[yuckyygutz]

♡ everybody's falling in love , and i'm falling behind ♡ PT.2

summary: fluff, (wasn't sure if i wanted to continue the angst, miles x reader ily ＼(^_^)／

a/n: idk if i wanna make this a series, should i??? tags: @cyberdollas @marcswife21 @milesmoraleswife4l

it's been atleast a month without contact with miles. the month passed painfully slow and it felt even slower seeing him walk past you in the halls over and over. now miles knew his mom loved you like a daughter and it pained him to see her so sad, so he did whatever so you could come back.

"hey, hold up!" he called out, his speed increasing while he mumbled 'sorry' to any person he bumped into. he caught up to you, who was taking books out of their locker and placed his hand on your shoulder, only for you to push his hand off.

"listen, i know you're still mad and you have all reason to be but i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." he mumbled, trying to stare at your eyes but the situation grew more awkward as you didn't respond for a while.

"please just forgive me, i didn't know.. i- i didn't know.." he pleaded, desperate for you to forgive him. he never really thought about how much you could've liked him, and it broke his heart.

you knew that deep down, under all that hard skin you built up to forget him completely, you still loved him. even if he couldn't be your lover, you wanted to atleast end this and just stay friends like you always were. you shut your locker, staring at miles in the eyes.

you both stayed silent, only staring at eachother with no meaning behind why. that was until miles leaned in and gave you the tightest bear hug he could do. the hug was filled with passion and it was tight, as if he didn't want to let you go.

he felt so bad to have been the cause of your hurt. to be the cause of he end of your friendship. if there wasone thing he actually wanted to be the cause of, was him being the cause of your reconciliation,"you're forgiven.." you mumbled, head resting on his shoulder as his head was buried in the crook of your neck.

oh, how he loved this. he didn't want to away from you anymore, no matter the cause, he just wanted his friend back. you eventually reciprocated the hug, wrapping your arms around his back as his arms were on your lower waist.

you didn't care that you both were shamelessly hugging in the hallways of your school, you both just wanted to be alone in eachothers embrace. you shut your eyes, melting into the hug.

"thank you." he whispered into your ear, almost sending a shiver down your spine,"let's hang out this afternoon, okay? my place." he continued to speak, the feeling of his breath near your ear was half-intoxicating.

"i'd like that. i'd like that a lot."

[elix8r]

never thought id do this but heres an essay on my thoughts on monkey bars 😭😭🤍🤍🤍

let me preface this by saying you did such an amazing job with this truly, you wrote so so well and i feel like you encapsulated every perfect emotion in the best way possible, and somehow it just gets better and better? i forgot how pt 1 went so i reread it before i read pt 2 and i was blown away again but youve even improved somehow ?!!? youre like the gift that keeps on giving 💋 also, thank you so so much for pushing through and writing this, i know it couldnt have been easy struggling with writers block but i hope u know we all think the world of this fic so please see the worth of your work 💗

ok now MY THOUGHTS!!! oh my lord, where to begin… first of all, same as before: from part one, i was already irked with jake when he pulled the beomgyu shit (albeit i moved on pretty damn fast surprisingly) but the cliffhanger you left us on was a game changer like he crossed the line so bad. i was conviced i would never forgive him. if someone did that to me i would have the exact same reaction as y/n tbh. anger later sad confusion panic first. and seeing the aftermath in part 2??? first of all, so glad she had such a good support system around her and people who actually put their morals first aka 02z bc u already know men irl would defend their “boys” first or whatever 🙄 hearing other girls gossip about her actually broke my heart cos if it was me i wouldve cried n had a panic attack there and then … and knowing my PARENTS know about it 😭😭😭

you wrote so well i was actually about to insert myself in NO JOKE!!!! like ok lets stray for a while but me personally i dont like “dumping” my emotions on anybody bc it makes me feel like im burdening them but when i read the scene when she went back home,, oh lord i wanted to cry in the dads arms there n then, u have a talent with words fr 🫣🫣

SORRY BACK TO OUR SCHEDULED ANNOUNCEMENT, nowhere in this fic was my heart set in stone. ok i lied. for the first 80% i was like FUCK THAT MAN HE DESERVES TO DIE IM NEVER FORGIVING YOU but then i started feeling pity too DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY YOURE AMAZING AT WRITING??? like am i throwing away my morals or am i just understanding that people are multidimensional,, woah lord,, like tbh i wouldnt have forgiven jake bc something of that scale is just not in my books, was way too extreme, but the way you wrote his character, his guilt, the actual situation??? couldnt even blame y/n for feeling sympathetic cos damn me too… i know a lot of people might not agree (especially irl. DEF NOT) but the way you wrote everything… how do you not feel bad for the poor boy 😭 in no way is y/n to blame for ANYTHING but at some point i started to be worried for jake too so i was like u know what. fine. get together with the boy. NO WAIT. idk. dont. IDK?!!!?

i think me personally, i wouldnt have been able to forgive him but i wouldve tried to move past it, despite how hard it would be. whether or not we get together would be a different question because rebuilding trust would take a lot, but,, yeah. overall i am soooo fucking satisfied with this, and the ending was so refreshing tbh!!! at first i was hoping they wouldn’t get together (literally when they kissed again i was like NOOO GIRLLLL WHYYYYY have more self respect!!!!) but after your slayful writing i was like nah u know what give them a happy ending,, n u did not disappoint,,,, i loved how it ended and that fresh start at the end was really like a breath of fresh air i have no idea how to explain it but it just genuinely did feel like a fresh start. i loved it. i will be rereading. thank you

OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE LONGEST MESSAGE I'VE EVER GOTTEN AND IM LITERALLY SCREAMING IN JOY BECAUSE OF IT!!

this was insane praise like omfg thank you so much! i always have such a hard time wondering if what i wrote is good enough to put out for you guys and to hear you say that is so meaningful to me 😭 the writer's block def was a bitch but hearing you say that you could see that I've improved makes everything worth it like i'd go through it again if it'll help me get better at writing im crying literally 🥹

so the whole time i was writing this last part i had a hard time deciding if oc should forgive him or not because personally i would never be able to but i just felt that the only way for this story to wrap up well and in a satisfying way would be if it was a happy? ending so i ended up just going with that and yes one of the main things i wanted to show was that everyone was rooting for y/n so i made sure no one excused jake's behavior

the scene where she went back home was kind of tough to write like i totally get you i get really emotionally invested even when im writing and jfc just imagining how my parents would react literally had me going through it like her dad was devastated and i think it really shows to what extent one person's actions/mistakes can effect cause this shit not only broke her down but also most of those around her so those scenes were def tough to write

but i am so so so glad to hear how much you enjoyed the ending and overall this story! you seriously just relieved me of so many of my worries regarding this story and i always feel like the best compliment is when people tell me they'll reread my stuff so thank you so so much for sending me this ginormous message and hope I'll continue to produce stuff you like! love you loads 🫶 🫶 🫶

[bigjimbopickens]

hi sorry to bother you i know this is like a dead issue now but i was a massive fan of kevin before the hogwarts legacy shit, i’m a trans guy and i stopped watching him because of it. i really miss his content though, his channel is pretty much all the games i like and my sense of humour, but i feel so conflicted about wanting to go back to his content. i was just curious what your thought process was around rejoining the cult? i know it’s kinda weird to ask now since it’s been like 6 months since it happened but i feel really weird about it.

also like. no pressure to answer i don’t know if this is crossing a line or anything sorry

It’s okay don’t worry :) enough time has passed, to me at least. Tbh this is the first I’ve heard about this in a while lol.

It’s okay to feel conflicted. I don’t speak for everyone here but everyone I talk to regularly has forgiven him but won’t forget that this happened.

I do believe he learned from this, he hasn’t done anything HP related since then, besides for a few ps1 Hagrid cameos (which is fine, ps1 Hagrid has been a channel meme for a while). I just hope this doesn’t age poorly.

What started getting me back was a bit after the apology post I noticed that other YouTubers were doubling down on their decisions or just not saying anything, including ones I used to respect. Even though I wished Kevin did more than just a Reddit post, I’m glad he didn’t stay silent and admitted he fucked up. His intention wasn’t malicious, unlike a lot of other creators, which is why I was more forgiving with him compared to others. Though I still lost a lot of respect which was regained over time.

Oddly enough what got me to really respect him again was his video on those American Superpastors and Megachurches. Having grown up in one (though in Canada, they exist here but aren’t as big) it was very healing. He couldn’t say it because he didn’t want to get sued, but he was very heavily implying that he believes it’s all a huge scam and they’re exploiting people. But he’s right, I’ve witnessed it myself. Never would’ve expected him to make a video like that and be so bold with it. I’m glad Europeans see what goes on here and think “what the fuck?!” Great video definitely recommend.

Other than that, mainly just enough time passed where I no longer feel that way. I missed the sense of community which is why I rejoined the fandom but it’s not my main one anymore. I mostly do my own thing these days. It was awesome going to Vancoufur as Werewolf Jim and meeting CMK fans there too, I could’ve sworn I was the only British Columbian in the entire fandom. Though I don’t fully trust the fandom still, mainly people I don’t recognize. But not anyone here, Tumblr isn’t really the site for those people.

Not much else has really changed in his content, just no more HP videos in general (as of July 22, 2023) and the fast-paced editing has mostly stopped. He now only uploads on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays now + any 2nd channel content, song covers or streams. The community has changed a lot though. The Reddit protests caused the subreddit to shut down so it’s gone, so there’s now no longer one big gathering spot besides Discord, which is the one side of the community I’m not in.

It’s really your choice if you wanna start watching again, anonymous user. Do whatever makes you happy :)

Since this is related, I haven’t heard a thing about HL since February. It really was just a mid game that was only popular because it was controversial. Transphobes really spent a lot of money on this, they’re the real losers. I know single player games get less players overtime but a lot of them still get talked about, replayed or are still relevant. Idk just my thoughts. If you really want a magic game with custom spells, play Oblivion’s Mages Guild questline or modded Skyrim.

Also sorry if I got back to this so late. I haven’t had a stable connection for a while until now. I’ve been away, escaping wildfires. Average Canadian summer activities.

[nonclassyparty]

Ive been a silent reader of yours all this time but I have to speak up on this. I'm sorry but I just can't agree with this "San has done bad things but that's okay because so did others" that's like saying this murderer is horrible for killing innocent people but it's not really THAT bad(?) because there are others who committed murder too I don't know if I'm explaining it right because English is not my first language lol. Regardless if others have done bad things, it doesn't justify San's shitty deeds. One's bad deeds should never be downgraded/downplayed just because there are others who do bad things too so I find it pointless to bring up others like y/n seonghwa wooyoung etc when we're talking about San and the things he's done or why people think he's irredeemable. Also maybe because I've dealt with someone irl like starring role San and that's why his character is just irredeemable to me. Like I don't care how bad he feels after for doing what he did, the impact of his actions is still 10x more hurtful than whatever remorse or guilt he felt and the fact that he KEEPS doing it despite being self aware makes it even more worse than it already is actually. I wish we can have a conversation about people's terrible deeds without bringing up others to either make justifications or comparisons.

Like if a person killed somebody then feels guilty about it but then does it again. It just doesn't make sense to me (I know San is not a killer lol but I'm trying to make an analogy and this the best my non English speaking ass can come up with)

For me San is an asshole point blank period and if we're being for real, a person like him who grew up with that mindset can't change in as little as two years. Before anybody come here and say i'm team mingi and thats why I'm saying this, actually I'm team nobody. I'm just here to read this very entertaining and we'll written au 🥰

ouuuuuuu i love this, had to get a drink before i started typing. and don't worry your english is fine everything is great, i get what you're saying. soooo let's talk;

first of all, i need all of us to be on the same page here so let me ask you guys (all of you that actively participate in these little quiz nights 😭), what is it that san did wrong exactly? and i don't mean "he did this wrong so he doesnt deserve to be with yn" we're not talking about that and frankly don't care about, its what did he do wrong that makes him a bad irredeemable character? i'm genuinely curious about this.

while writing this story, i can think of two instances where he actually fucked up but still not to the point where its not redeemable.

you say bad deeds of the other characters shouldn't be brought up when talking about san's? and i disagree! you know why? it's not bc i'm trying to downplay his wrongdoings ( or trying to justify them, if it ever seemed like that then i probably didnt word myself right) or bc it's "Oh san my poor meow meow he can't be the bad guy!!!!!" but because all of the characters that i've compared him to are halfway ( if not the whole way) already forgiven by the readers and why is that? what makes them more redeemable than him and where is the line drawn when it comes to forgiveness? again we are not talking about relationship-with-y/n forgiven but "he's not the villain" forgiven bc apart from y/n's mother i don't think there are any other villains 😭

(and this is not defending san, he is an asshole i'll be the first one to say it bc i literally created him😭 but that's simply not all that there is to him bc as people we are not one dimensional. no one is all good and all bad, there's no such thing unless we're talking about idk psychopaths or something lol and just bc we haven't seen san's good towards y/n doesn't mean there's no good at all. i've already written all his parts for the next chapter so this is just a formal notice that i won't be trying to make him more appealing so he can get sympathy points or something and i can say that he won't be asking for forgiveness either but he will be in a huge chunk of the chapter and for all of you that plan on just blocking out everything he says well...u wont be having a good time😭)

[moriartyluver]

I mean you could always add glitter to the ashes to make it cuter but other than that, idk

Poor Bonde though😭 bro is probably so confused for his first few weeks, like wdym hearing things from their bedrooms was actually just a test to see if he has good hearing???

fl and liam definitely had a little (actually it was very long) phase after she really warmed up to him where they could never stop gushing over each other for longer than three minutes (that phase came back after liam’s return too😭)

🎀.

I’ll put the ashes in a pretty little antique vase and put a bow on it to make him lana del rey vinyl

Imagine one of the lord of crime members (probably Moran tbh) tells bonde that the room next to fl’s or William’s (they have separate rooms 😞) has a really nice view or ventilation or whatever and bondes like oh okay thanks😄

He regrets it not even a full night afterwards. Bro can’t sleep. He’s traumatised.

We may or may not get fl gushing over liam after getting drunk during the noahatic arc and he has to take care of her after helping Enders hide a fucking body 👀

Fl really loves liam and once she starts opening up and resolving her insecurities she’ll be a bit more clear about it and return his affections instead of just freezing up every time he does anything romantic.

After liams return it gets easier. Like liam does everything and I mean everything to make fl forgive him. She’s already forgiven him bc although she would act like she hated him most of their relationship, she understands he only said all that stuff bc he was about to jump off a fucking bridge and try unalive himself. She still thinks it’s funny (in a non toxic way) to mess with Liam and make him feel guilty occasionally in a playful way

[dejwritesarchived]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — KOKO LOVES TWO THINGS, MONEY & HIS FAVORITE GIRL. [ ft kokonoi hajime x black reader, female anatomy, her/she pronouns, office sex, bonten arc, doesn't really follow the manga tbh, profanity, breeding kink, mentions of astrology, money kink [?], pet name usage [doll], koko's lowkey reader's pay pig, he's just happy to spend his money on a pretty woman, a continued piece from this, idk why i headcanon koko being an astrology hoe, MINORS DNI ! ]

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THE SOUND OF THE MONEY COUNTER WAS LIKE A SOFT TUNE in Kokonoi's ears. His slim figure sitting in the large black leather seat in his office in Bonten headquarters. He found his head falling back, the miniature clock on his desk ticking with each second that passed while the money counted another thousand yen, which caused Koko to neatly stack the money in a suitcase after rubber-banding it together. He then continued the process, placing another stack of money in the money counter.

It didn't dwell on him how late it was until he saw his girlfriend push her way into his office. A skin-tight red-colored dress hugged her figure beautifully, her brown skin glistened with each step she took, and he could even get a whiff of her sweet-scented perfume. The look on her face wasn't exactly the look he was expecting. Her plump glossed lips were pouted outward angrily, her arms crossed over her chest puckering up her cleavage just a lil bit, and he was pretty sure a curse word was close to lingering off her tongue.

Koko's eyes didn't even bother to lift from the machine that was counting the crisp yen bills. He was more worried about making sure each bill was counted before he left the office than worried about his pouting girlfriend. Whom he was going to assume was only here because she ran out of money to fund her shopping habits.

"I'm almost done so we can go home doll," Koko uttered as he tossed another rack of bills in the suitcase.

"You forgot." (Y/N) sighed as she tapped her red bottoms on the nicely shined floors.

Koko glanced up from the money counter, his eyes finally wandering from her face all the way down to her impatient feet taping on the floor. It finally dwelled on him that tonight was supposed to be date night for the two. His cheeks stained a crimson shade of red due to embarrassment.

His fingers are tracing alongside the plumpness of her thighs, eyes glistening for forgiveness. [Y/N] knew that it could only take one devious look and a stack of money to get her to cave. Just to get her to roll her pretty little dress up. She honestly thinks he gets off on the fact that he can just throw money her way and all is forgiven.

If others heard about this, they would probably judge her more than him. How can you let such a dangerous man just throw money at you and you forgive him for missing a simple romantic dinner? Frankly, because [Y/N] chalked it up as maybe Koko's love language wasn't quality time, perhaps he showed his love using the thing he had a lot of. He adored placing his black card in [Y/N]'s hand and he damn sure adored when she skipped into his office wearing whatever she brought with his money.

"Ko, we can't do this here. You're supposed to be counting this money," [Y/N] uttered as she stared at him, he now occupied the space in between her thighs. "What about the money? We should move it out the way, we're going to ru—" Her words were interrupted with a harsh kiss.

When Koko pulled away, his lips traveled to her jawline and soon to the soft flesh on her neck. The scent of her favorite perfume lingered up his nostrils. "I can just fuck you right here on top of the money. They'll be fine." He uttered.

"I highly doubt they would want fuckin' yen bills that smell like sex, Ko." [Y/N] says as her eyes shift close in complete bliss of feeling the man kiss and nibble at her skin.

"It gets spent the same way."

Despite excuses tumbling out her mouth to prevent the two of you from having sex right in his office, [Y/N] still lifted her frame slightly just so Koko could remove her panties. The intense look he gave her caused her to grow wet while he shoved the fabric into his dress pants.

"I didn't lock the door, what if someone walks in?" [Y/N] asked.

Koko's hands went to unbutton his own pants letting them carelessly drop down to his ankles. The visible bulge in his grey boxer briefs caused the young woman to swallow harshly at the sight. As Koko was cupping her face ignoring her last comment, the pad of callous thumb caressed her cheek softly. Tracing alongside her plump lips, the lip gloss she had on her lips staining his fingertips with ease.

"Then they'll get to see me fuck you," Koko bluntly admitted.

The thought of getting caught being bent over his large desk caused adrenaline to pump through [Y/N]'s veins. Her teeth graze at her lower lip as she's watching Koko tug his boxers down revealing his hardened member. Koko's tugging her body closer to the edge of the desk, his cock lining up at her entrance. "Spit." He demanded as he brought his hand up to her mouth.

[Y/N] went up to protest, but the look Koko gave her she coughed up the spit in his hand. Watching with so much eagerness like a quirky school girl waiting for her crush as he coated the spit on his thick cock with ease. He leaned down to place a harsh kiss on [Y/N]'s lips, his teeth grazing at her lower lip as he sank himself into her. He could feel [Y/N]'s muscle tense up, which Koko could only rub small circles on her exposed thighs to soothe her while she get used to his size. "Relax doll, it's the same dick you receive every night don't run now," he said between the kiss the two shared.

When Koko pulled back, he pushed her down on the desk. Her back pressed against the now scattered yen bills on his desk. The once neatly stacked money was like a beautiful backdrop for a photoshoot. The vibrant colors of the yen bills contrasted [Y/N]'s brown skin quite well from the angle Koko was looking at her. Completely love struck with each thrust inside her wet cunt. The lewd sound of skin slapping against each other bounced off Koko's office walls.

"Ko." [Y/N] moaned out, her hands going up to touch his torso to slow him down, but was only met with him moving her hand away.

"You can take it doll." He hummed as he threw her legs over his shoulder. His perfectly manicured fingernails dug at limbs. His hips bullied his cock further inside her soaking cunt.

Tears crystalized [Y/N]'s lashline as she could only let out a string of moans that stroked Koko's ego. His lips pressed soft kisses on the inside of her ankle with each thrust forward. The feeling of her tight pussy squeezing around him caused his eyes to shift close in complete bliss. Yen bills splattered on the floor with each thrust that caused the desk to move across the freshly waxed floors.

The two of them were so close to hitting their limit of becoming a cumming mess.

"You know, I read your horoscope today," He mumbled through breathless grunts. His long white hair fell in his face as he tugged his cock from outside of [Y/N]'s pussy, her slick coating his cock so perfectly it was like a beautiful masterpiece to Koko.

The Bonten member soon pushes himself back inside her pussy, this time it slid in perfectly as if it was a missing puzzle piece to a puzzle. He gripped at her thighs with ease and pushed himself forward into her pussy, "Your horoscope said you'll have a day full of positivity and wealth today." Koko said.

He's leaning over grabbing some yen bills letting the bills fall on top of [Y/N] like they were fresh snowflakes falling from Japan's nightly sky, "So tell me, what does my favorite girl want in the world?" He asked as he let the yen bills fall out of his hand.

The sight of Koko throwing yen bills on [Y/N]'s body caused the woman to reach her limit. Her pussy began to pulse around Koko's cock just in time for him to cum also. His thick cum spritzing its way to decorate her gummy walls white. He's in a complete pussy trance as he's hunched forward over [Y/N]'s fucked out form.

"Do you have an answer to my question?"

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[i-eat-deodorant]

Could I request Lamb and Narinder sharing a bath together? sometimes tongue baths just aren't enough when lamb comes back from a particularly nasty crusade after all

time spent: honestly idk anymore

length: 2102 words

pairing: narinder/lamb

warnings: nudity since they’re bathing, though apart from one line of taking off clothes it’s never really brought up

note: very much slice-of-life. didn’t really have much of a plan with this, just went with the prompt and let their dynamic take me wherever. this is a much more domestic narinder that what i usually write, idk how to feel about that

.

It was three days into a long, arduous crusade, and Lamb was dead. 

Well, not really dead (and maybe they should stop hyperbolizing death when they’ve experienced it a hundred times over, but whatever), just bone-dead tired. The trek back to their village was an exercise in dragging feet, step by plodding step. It didn’t help that they haven’t sheared in months; their wool was getting bulky enough that the mass actively weighed them down, overgrown bangs obscuring their vision. The fact that they didn’t pass out on their face was nothing short of a miracle. 

Finally, their house was in sight, sweet salvation almost palpable beyond the door. They fumbled with the knob, stumbling inside with all the grace of a fish on land, and found Narinder sitting on the couch, reading a book. 

“About time you came back, Lamb,” he said, not looking up, “The flock has been occupied with expanding the irrigation system, but your absence has left nerves on edge. Too much breeds dissent.” 

“Murgh.” Aww, you missed me.

“Was it successful? You look like you fought a leaf pile and lost, so I assume you didn’t die pathetically, again.” 

“Bleurgh.” Love you too. 

Narinder finally snapped his book shut, regarding them with a raised eyebrow. “Did they lobotomize you?” 

“No, just…pluh.” They flopped onto their bed, burrowing under the blankets where everything was dark and nice. “M’tired, that’s all.” 

Their ears picked up a sigh and a creak of wood as Narinder stood up. He wrapped his arms around their midsection, tightly hugging from behind. They leaned into it, affection blooming warm and fluttery in their belly–if sheep could purr, they’d be rumbling away, basking in the contact of their mate after nothing but thorn bushes and lonely campfires for three days. 

It didn’t occur to them that Narinder had other plans until he’d pulled them off the bed. Lamb blinked sleepily as he started dragging them backwards by their elbows. He was too short to lift them fully, so their feet slid limply across the floor. “What’re y’doing?” 

“The fact you’re comfortable to sleep in this much filth appalls me. A bath is long overdue.” 

“But I don’ wanna.” 

“I could catch a whiff of you before the door even opened–you smell worse than an outhouse in the middle of summer. Go to sleep and I vow never to kiss you again.” 

Lamb spluttered, butting Narinder’s chest in mock protest. They were starting to wake up now, though their position was just comfortable enough that they didn’t bother fighting back. “Yeah, well, I could say the same for you and your wet dog smell! So there.” 

“The compliments you made of my ‘wet dog smell’ a week ago beg to differ.” 

“Maybe I hated it and just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. And–” They raised a floppy arm to poke him in the cheek, watching as his face scrunched. “–it’s really sweet that you remember that one, I still remember how flustered it made you.” 

Narinder looked away, ears angled slightly back the way he always did when he was embarrassed about something. He hoisted Lamb higher, and continued shuffling backwards with them. “I was not flustered. Your comment merely caught me off guard.” 

“Uh huh. But I lied. You actually stink. Forgivable though, you’re lucky you’re so cute.” 

“Then I pray to be forgiven for this as well.” 

What?

Before Lamb could ask what he meant, their world flipped upside down; a spike of shock shot down their spine as freezing water surrounded them, clogged their fleece and their cloak and dragged them down. They tried to shout, to bleat, but it filled their mouth and left them choking, sinuses burning from the sharp cold. 

The bath was only waist-deep, but with their wool as heavy as it was it took them several tries to cling to the edge of the wooden washtub without slipping. When they did, they found their assailant standing tactically beyond grabbing range, biting his lip to keep from laughing. 

“You. Mother. Fucker.” Lamb growled. 

Narinder took one look at their soggy glower and lost it. 

It was admittedly nice to hear him laugh for once, even if it was at their expense. Lamb splashed water at him. It splattered on his robe, and he backed off with a yelp. “Listen here, asswipe. This isn’t a bath, this is a damn cold plunge.” 

“Well, heh, I drew this bath yesterday since I expected you to be back by then. You very well could have had a warm bath if you dawdled less.” Wiping tears off the corners of his eyes, he reached behind himself and threw…a soap bar?

Lamb tried to catch it, but with it being soap, the damned thing slipped through their fingers and they only got another eyeful of water for their troubles. “If you could’ve smelled me from a mile away, maybe you could’ve warmed up the water while you waited.” 

“Not worth the effort. Besides, it did an excellent job of waking you up.” 

“Oh, I’ll wake your whole world up–” 

They tried to scramble out of the tub, only for a light bonk to startle them off balance and slip back into the water. Narinder had stepped closer, wielding a brush and a cocky grin. “Later. Cleanliness takes priority.” 

“Okay, okay. You win. Lemme just–ow!” Lamb pressed a hand against their back with a wince, as if just noticing a sprain. Out of the corner of their vision, they saw Narinder’s ears prick up as he walked closer. “Must’ve messed something up and not noticed.” 

“What is it?” 

“Bruise. I think. I’m fine, it’s not serious.” 

“I shall be the judge of that.” Narinder leaned over the lip of the tub, pawing at the soaked wool between their shoulders. “You are long overdue for a shear, Lamb; I cannot even see your skin fromMMPH!” 

Lamb had lurched forward, grabbing him by the arms and yanking him bodily into the tub with them. Water surged out over the edge; they felt Narinder flailing uselessly against them, shocked by the coldness just as they were. He ended up surfacing much faster, looking like a drowned rabbit with the way his fur clung close to his skin and his ears sagged. Lamb cackled–they couldn’t help it. Every time they winded down they’d look at his sour expression and sad attempt at a bristle, and they’d start again. 

“...It is cold. I should have foreseen that,” he admitted after Lamb ran out of air and started choking on their own spit. “But must you pull me in clothes and all? I actually liked this robe, and the water is dirty enough that it is irreversibly stained.” 

Finally catching their breath, Lamb looked down to find that the tub was now murky and full of silt. “Is that really all from me?” 

Narinder huffed, unbuttoning his robe and wringing the water off of it. “It is certainly not from me. I bathe every day.” 

“I do bathe, it’s just...” When did they last do it? Before they worked in the cauliflower fields? Before they buried a dead elder? Then there were the three days of crusading, full of rolling in mud, hiding in the undergrowth, looting Silk Cradle’s dusty silk stores.”...Point taken.” 

Their mate sighed, a frequent habit of his that was growing fonder by the day. “How you functioned before I came here is beyond me. Here, remove your cloak.” 

Lamb acquiesced, unclasping the fleece and draping it on the side of the tub. They hesitated on their collar, but removed it as well; the reminder of their beheading shown as a ring of pink welts around their neck, surrounded by fibrotic skin. No wool would grow there, the skin too scarred for hair growth. 

Narinder braced a hand on their shoulder, index rubbing over the scar gently–a reminder to the both of them, of how they met and everything it took to get them here. He then traced the constellations of scars where their wool parted, bits and pieces of close calls in battle. His other hand combed in long, languid strokes with the brush, starting at the apex of their head and following the slope of their back. It felt almost trance-like, the rhythmic way he brushed, picking his way through the curls with fastidious care. Lamb felt themselves getting sleepy again. 

“Nar?” 

“Lamb.” 

“My wool’s getting bulky enough that it’s starting to get in the way of things.” A pause. They ran their fingers through their coat, a nervous habit. Narinder smacked their hand away. “I think you’re right, it might be about time I had another shear.” 

“Allow me to handle it then.” He didn’t lose pace of his brushing, now working through the thicker tangles on their shoulders. They remembered his first weeks as a mortal, how he had difficulty regulating his grip pressure and fumbled with his fingers. Years later, now every movement of his was deliberate, purposeful, honed by habit and exercise. 

“Really? It’s no problem, I can to it if you don’t want to–” 

“I can see your back, and you look about to fall asleep sitting up.” 

Point taken, they thought. Lamb rested their head and arms against the lip of the tub, ears fluttering as the tips brushed water. They felt the water level drop as Narinder plodded out to fetch the razor, closing their eyes as he lowered himself back in. With the two of them submerged the water was no longer cold, just refreshingly cool instead. 

Before Narinder took over, Lamb would often nick themselves with the razor–partly because mirrors could only go so far in seeing where they cut, partly because they’re just plain clumsy– and the result resembled a bush dragged through a tornado. Shearing was a dreaded last resort only done when it impeded their battling performance, or during hot summer months so they didn’t cook in their own coat. It was not something they particularly enjoyed. 

But shearing with Narinder was something enjoyable. He was meticulous, fastidious; an ambitious force of nature unwilling to do anything by halves. There was a learning curve, of course, but now Lamb could just sit back and listen to the steady shlick shlick of sliced hairs as he did most of the hard work. The first part of effective leadership was appearance, he insisted, and wouldn’t let them leave until he was satisfied with their cut. 

“I believe that’s all,” Narinder said. When Lamb opened their eyes, he was already bundling up an impressively sized blob of wool (was that all from them?) and tossing it in a pile on the floor. “How does it feel?” 

Lighter, was their first thought. They never realized how much their wool weighed until it was gone, until standing and moving felt easier, more free. Glancing back at them in the murky water was a different sheep, white fleece cropped close in length to the shorter black fur of their face and limbs. They poked at the junction between their horns, where the crown sat. “It’s a bit chilly outside. I’m gonna have to stick to sweaters until the weather gets warmer.” 

“Then wear a sweater. There is more than enough wool here for me to knit you another one, with a hood and scarf.” He passed them the soap, which they begrudgingly lathered onto their body. “Remind me to trim you later; I want to see how it looks when dry.” 

Once the two of them (mostly Lamb) were clean, it was time to get out. Lamb went first, making a beeline for the towels and drying themselves with two before the shivers set in. 

This was promptly ruined by Narinder’s full body shake, which sent water spraying everywhere. 

“Ass.” They aimed another towel at his head, even though the bastard looked almost dry already from the shake alone. Damned shorthairs. “I better get my new sweater. With the hood, and the scarf.” 

Narinder scoffed, but yanked the towel from his face and bundled up anyways. “Pushy. You underestimate how much power I wield over you, Lamb. Mention it again, and I shall give you a mohawk.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Oh, I will.” 

“Watch your mouth, I’ll see how you’d like it when I shear off all your whiskers in your sleep.” 

“Foolish of you to believe I would ever let that happen.” 

“Sure thing, Mister No-whisker Bigshot.” 

“...What does that even mean.” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Their bickering carried on, well after the water behind them cooled.